Lies on a Black Saturday

“I’ll tell you about lies. There are white lies and black lies and many shades of gray lies. But some lies are justified - lies told out of kindness, lies that preserve dignity, lies that spare pain.” -Abraxas, the Demon of Deceit

Today is Black Saturday and I purposely didn’t go to mass today. You see, I’ve been having these doubts. Thanks to that vagina relishing atheist professor of mine, I’m having a crisis of faith. It’s not that I don’t believe in God anymore, it’s just that I don’t believe in some of the doctrines of the Catholic Church, (I had doubts before when I was younger, but now I’m acting on those doubts) i.e. the virgin birth, kissing a wooden cross, confessing your sins to an envious man (so says Alanis), heterosexuality as the only way to go (I don’t writhe in guilt anymore, God certainly has a purpose for making me bisexual and I know it’s not to hide that part of me in the closet), hmmm…what else…oh yeah, when you commit suicide you immediately go to hell, and that masturbation’s a mortal sin along the lines of murder and bestiality.

I hate it that I just realized that I was brain washed since infancy that sex was dirty and that anything beyond monogamous heterosexual bound within marriage sex was immoral. I don’t believe that God will punish me because S/He/They created me this way. They’re better than that. So there.

Happy Easter.